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A Few Very Funny Pub Jokes!

February 10, 2011 | Posted by admin

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Home Page > Arts & Entertainment > Humor > A Few Very Funny Pub Jokes!

A Few Very Funny Pub Jokes!

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Posted: Feb 22, 2010 |Comments: 0
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There’s something regarding bars with drunkards that appear to be the most common cause of jokes. Everyone has found out a funny story that begins “A chap walks into a bar” (and says Ouch!) and there is no doubt that drunks are usually extremely entertaining. So listed below are a couple of pub jokes that you may not have heard previously, however they really are all awfully witty, I assure you!

THE CRAZY BET WITH THE BARMAN
A chap strolls up to the barman and states, “Do you observe that glass over there in the corner? I will bet you £50 that I can pee inside it from here!” The bartender says yes, because the glass is miles way over at the other side of the pub. Subsequently the gentleman unzips and pulls it out, then pisses in a million diverse directions, coming nowhere even close to the shot glass. In the meantime the bartender’s laughing so hard he can hardly breathe.

“Pay up,” says the bartender, and cheerfully takes the money.

Meanwhile the chap pays up, and walks over then grabs £200 from a third —————- playing pool.

The bartender calls him back and demands, “Why did that bloke give you the money?”

And the first man says, “‘Cause I bet him £200 that I could pee all over your bar and you’d only laugh about it!”

SEXY LADY IN A QUIET LOCAL BAR
A fairly delightful woman goes up to the bar in a quiet neighborhood pub.

She gestures alluringly in the direction of the bartender, who comes over immediately. After he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. After he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy.

“Are you the boss she asks, tenderly stroking his face with both hands.

“Actually, no” he replies.

“Can you get him for me — I ought to speak to him.” She is running her fingers up beyond his beard then into his hair.

“I’m afraid that I can’t,” breathes the bartender, undoubtedly aroused. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message,” she continues huskily, popping a pair of fingers into his mouth and permitting him to suck them gently.

“Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room.”

THE GUINNESS BOSS AT THE BEER CONFERENCE
After the Great British Beer Festival, in London, all the worldwide brewery presidents chose to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and pronounces, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s greatest beer, a Corona.” The barman dusts off a bottle from the shelf and offers it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the most excellent beer in the world, hand over me ‘The Queen Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The barman gives him one.

The gentleman from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He takes it.

The man from Guinness sits down and states, “Give me an orange juice.” The barman is a little stunned, nevertheless supplies him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents glare over at him and ask “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?” and the Guinness president answers, “Well, I guess if you guys are having weak drinks, then so will I.”

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Pat Mcluk -
About the Author:

My name is Pat McLachlan, and I have a Home Brewing website and another for Just Jokes Online! So this article is perfect to promote both websites!

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